He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
