You're so nebulous sometimes
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
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Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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