Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
