I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize