ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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