Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
