i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
