gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
