I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
