I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
