We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
