I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
