So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
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i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
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my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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