Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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