Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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