well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
