I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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