Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
