Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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