you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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