How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
