u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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