No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
