when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The power of my boobs compel you
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
