dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this boner is exhausting
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
