I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
And then he peed in my hair
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