dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.