This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.