The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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