It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize