why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
