i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize