Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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