i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
