I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
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He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
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but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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