Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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