maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
