Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
