if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I touched a dick in church today
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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