the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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