if i can run in heels then i can drive
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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