Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
As shirtless as possible
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
