Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize