is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
