I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The air was thick with penises
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
