I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
