so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
