A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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