Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
