It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
