marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
