I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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