youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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