Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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