Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i out mim tonsoeep
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