just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
