is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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