I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
