So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
