There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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