Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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