you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
