A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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