I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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