Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
