Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
