Your face is a jimmy john
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
