I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
kristin has been a bad kristin
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Houston, we have a squirter
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wear drunk well.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
