Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She's the barista slut.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
