Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's just like the Real World with babies
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
